Regulating your “Fixing Reflex”
The fixing reflex (formerly called the righting reflex) is that internal reaction where you immediately think:
- “Here’s what you should do.”
- “Let me tell you how to solve that.”
In Motivational Interviewing, practitioners try not to jump straight into advice. Instead, they:
- listen deeply
- explore the client’s perspective
- help the person discover their own motivation and solutions
Six Common “Fixing Reflex” Responses.
Last year I heard fellow MINT trainer Tanya Cooper give an enlightening talk on the many faces of the “fixing reflex” and here are a few scenarios she outlined below:
- The Knight 🛡️
- Wants to rescue or save the client
- Takes over the problem
- Talks more than the client
Risk: The client becomes passive instead of empowered.
- The Cautioner ⚠️
- Uses warnings or fear-based advice
- Emphasizes negative consequences
Example: “If you keep doing that, you’re going to ruin your life.”
Risk: People may become defensive or shut down.
- The Expert 📚
- Believes the client simply lacks the right information
- Gives lots of advice or facts
Example: “What you need to do is…”
Risk: Assumes knowledge automatically leads to change.
- The Blindfolded Travel Guide 🧭
- Makes assumptions about the client
- Skips listening and goes straight to advice
Example: “I know exactly what your issue is.”
Risk: Misses the client’s actual experience.
- The Warrior ⚔️
- Gets frustrated or argumentative
- Tries to convince the person they are wrong
Risk: Conversation turns into debate instead of exploration.
- The Cheerleader 📣
- Uses excessive praise or enthusiasm
Example: “That’s amazing! You’re doing great! Just keep it up!”
Risk: Still positions the helper as the evaluator or expert.
Why This Happens
The fixing reflex tends to appear more when people are:
- tired
- burned out
- emotionally drained
- triggered by their own past experiences
It’s a human reaction, not a failure.
The Recommended Alternative
Instead of immediately fixing the problem:
- Notice the Reflex
Pay attention to:
- body sensations
- emotions
- the urge to jump in with solutions
- Regulate Yourself
Pause and ground yourself before responding.
- Return to Curiosity
Focus on understanding rather than solving.
Example questions:
- “What have you tried before?”
- “What worked in the past?”
The Ask–Offer–Ask Technique
A respectful way to share information in Motivational Interviewing.
- Ask permission
- “Would it be okay if I shared an idea?”
- Offer the information briefly in a neutral way.
- Ask again
- “What do you think about that?”
This keeps the client in control and gives them autonomy.
Unsolicited advice often feels like junk mail.
People are more likely to change when they feel:
- heard
- respected
- capable of finding their own solutions
The role of the helper is not to fix the person, but to create space for their motivation and insight to emerge.
